Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Do No

Do what makes you happy
No judgements
Do things that matter to you
No excuses
Do what is in your heart
No stopping
Do yourself a favor
No hurting
Do what you need
No hiding

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Destiny War

I have not been to war
But the machine guns in my head ruin my thoughts
Woven in silk; I have a destiny
A web of directions I chose to take

I do accept the fact it is mine
No one can strip this from me
tears do not change my destiny
It has all been written with fate

The battle wades through my days
Win or lose, the power is within me
But if the fight is mine then my destiny stays
This plays out in time and space

Calling for a break in moments shall not be
Time will not give mercy to catch up
It is time to stand and ride through destiny
Own the moments and hold on tight

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Where Is Your Monkey Man?

Here and there you will see the shadows of the monkey man, strange but true.
So why do I laugh so hard at the thoughts of a stoned monkey man. Not a nightmare, nor a dream, but the thoughts of crazy, unleashed foolishness, and the laughter of a young time. It does not cure, but stands out alone, as a medicine of the years, erasing the aged wears of responsibility.
So in the shadows there is a stoned monkey man, because it makes us laugh of the absurd and trifle moments of true self. The world will not make sense; we can try, and we will try very hard. You just cannot continue without the sound of hysterical laughter aimed at the strange and very meaningless thoughts of a stoned monkey man. Twisted? Maybe! But when you find your funny thoughts and they make you smile over and over again, do not let them go!

Monday, April 18, 2016

Four Penny Coffin

Four penny coffin (or coffin house) is the term they used for the first shelters in London. It was run by the Salvation Army in the late 1800, early 1900. These shelters charged their clients.

For a penny you got a meal and was allowed to sit on a bench all night, but not permitted to sleep. For another penny, you would get a rope put across the bench, you were allowed to sleep hanging over the rope. You were not permitted to lay down and the rope was cut at daybreak.

For four pennies, you received food and shelter, you had a wooden box that you could lie down in. You were covered with a tarp.

Compared to modern shelters this is considered inadequate, but in its time it was viewed at a charitable attempt to help the homeless. Homelessness was a new problem and the shelters helped get people out of the cold London winters.

This is a bit of a history lesson....makes you wonder how far we have come.

Thursday, April 14, 2016

Shouting From the Roof Tops

Standing above all, I start to yell as loud as possible. Although there is no sound, you can hear me from here.

It is not just love that is expressed, not just commitment and understanding.
It is the 'other half' making it whole.
Crazy words of 'wow' relieve us from falling over words that just will not do it.

Shouting from the roof tops, the tallest buildings, the steepest mountains. This just happens to be it, with all the trials, the evaluations and pushing to dive in deeper.
We have it now, not perfect but flawless.

Many steps to go in this journey and while we chase our dreams, make it up as we go. Never for an instant, forget or doubt "I love you"

I Still have a Name

I saw the eyes of hell and still stand to tell about it
I walked the path to nowhere and still know where I am
I spoke my peace and still have more to say
I lived another life and still find one here
I cried for peace and still weep for more
I sleep exposed to the elements and still wake in the streets
I beg so I will eat and still will not be full
I dress to be warm and still feel the cold
I hide from stares and still am judged
I am homeless and still I have a name

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Why Put On Red High Heels?

I had to take, what I call a 'Donald Trump' break, I needed to take some time and really figure out what was making me so unsuccessful. I started reading Donald Trump and others like Jack Canfield, Danielle LaPorte, Ali Brown and signed up for a business webinar. Drowning in inspiration and advice, my "ah ha" moment or what I call my "holy crap" moment started to come clear to me. Not that I did not know this already, that I lacked self-confidence, that I sabotage everything with my fears, this was not new to me but the fact that I was waiting for something to change it, was. Not sure if I was waiting for a lightning bolt to jolt my life into a new direction but whatever I was waiting for just was not going to appear especially with me shutting the door on change every time it appeared.

I took some time to reflect, stood back from it all before the pieces started to come together. Now in no way am I where I want to be but the door is open for new and exciting things to enter my life.

One thing that holds me back is the lack of self-confidence; it is more an ingrained negative self-perception that most likely has some deep seeded root that someday will surface.

First thing that sparked was when I was listening to an interview that led to the question: 'When was the last time you felt really good'. My answer was.......

First of all, I dislike shoes, shopping and I often wonder if I am some other kind of breed of woman. I like simple or at least that is what I thought before. Friends had invited us out for an evening of dancing, at a club. You see high heels on women all the time, it is normal but not for this chick. My friend convinced me that I needed to let loose and have some fun, get dressed up and go all out. We went shopping and I actually purchased high heels.

Totally out of my comfort zone, I turned heads, attention was on me, and I survived. My feet hurt like hell but I ROCKED.

Second "holy crap" moment came when reading Donald Trump's "Think like a Champion" where the first sentence of a paragraph hits me like a brick. "Your higher self is in direct opposition of your comfort zone” My comfort zone has weighed me down to a point that I become complacent and as harsh as it seems I became useless. I was, in a whole, the useless component to making my dreams a reality. As corny as it is, "my higher self was in high heels" Comfort be damned.

My comfort zone was the 'invisible me' blending into my surroundings.

The red shoes are my reminder that I actually look awesome, feel powerful, accomplish goals and totally ROCK outside of my comfort zone.

Friday, March 11, 2016

Exist, the Shadows

There is a shadow of myself; it plays in the wind, dances in the sun, and dreams of heaven on earth. Chances are, it will stand the test of all time, with the storms and rainbows that enter our space.

It will seek the completion and hold out its hand to enter the world as a whole.

Unable to separate the dark from the light, no obstacles stand between reality and fantasy. Enter the shadow of parallel proportion.

Instant attraction and consummation take the shadow of souls to a beginning. In the race of fulfillment the clouds come and go, the rain dances in and out, and the shadows breathe as one.

Enter into intermission.

A vow already written, the shelter allows a union and the shadows are released to exist as one.

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Beginning or End?

On top of the hill, where the entire downtown core can be seen, she looks down to the small town where she grew up and twists the cap off the water bottle. Placing the yellow pills in her mouth, she drinks to flush them into her body. Deciding to stand motionless, to make that dramatic fall to the ground while her life drifts away, she stares into the evening sky. Falling into darkness, her body goes limp, never feeling the ground.

Still thinking about the book, if my eyes would focus

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Walking in someone else's shoes, will give you sore feet

When I was a little girl, the man in my life was strong, funny and protected me from all my fears. When I grew up that same man become one of my fears. Torn between love and hate, the teen years were a spiral of finding yourself and hiding from the rest of the world.  Relief and extreme sadness entered when the man left to find another life far away. Then the confusion of comfort and longing made many thoughts tiresome as you would wonder where he was. Was he OK?

Everyone has a story that no one will actually understand. There is no truth to "I know how you feel". Even when situations are the same, no two people will know exactly how the other one really feels. We judge other feelings and we sometimes judge harshly things we do not understand.